Hey Kids! No Hope In Dope!

i saw the pixies twice in one week. first in camden with frank cara and moe and erik and moe drove down we listened to music i didnt wanna listen to but i didnt say anything coz i was pujped for the pixies. i ate a hot dog and it tasted bad and i couldnt smoke cigarettes in the venue but i really didnt care. the datsuns played and they have a double guitar solo. first time seeing a bad 70's rock band. just terrible. there was this band the bennies and they werent very good bbut they had a little buy in a wheelchair as their frontman. well yea. the pixies. they opened with velouria and charles wore sunglasses and kim is fat and they still hate eachother. i freaked out soo much during the show. i didnt stop moving. then and then and then i saw them again the next week. friday: extra tickets released. saturday: pixies and tv on the radio. tv on the radio if the pixies werent my favorite band would have totally upstaged the pixies. they are the perfect mix of indie rock sonic youth brian eno and blues and traditional spirituals. i had loved their first ep and found their lp quite boring. but this all changed. the toms were booming. i had a panic attack becuz the bass just dug into my chest and made shiver. the singer tunde or soemthing like that just danced and shook and convulsed just like i was and it was great. they beat boxed and had these big harmonies. i loved it. and then the pixies again. i just freaked out again. they opened with lady in the radiator. and now my hands hurts from typing. my left hand. but im gonna work through the pain. during tame i saw charles open his mouth and i just freaked out and jumped up and fell down and hurt people. and then i stole the caution tape protecting the press box. i was so happy and i miss them already. im gonna follow them around the country if they ever tour again. and live in a van and drink water. from puddles and eat peanut butter from the jar and never shower or brush my hair. i cant wait.

im buying a camcorder for chicago.

im going to sleep

tonite

i see the pixies

joey kim charles david

with the datsuns.

aww shucks

they play with burma broken social scene and tv on the radio this week in new york

i'll have to see these other bands at another time

dont be sad

what a weird week

suicide, failing kidneys, jukeboxes, fucksluts,

valeries friend committed suicide. i am not cynical. i think we're becoming friends. we deserve that.

lora loves bob. fuckslut "fucks" bob. fuckslut tells lora. we declare war. i love it

and my grandfathers kidneys are failing. my mom called me tonite and told me. i have no real love for him or anything becuz well he's always judged me pretty harshly. but i love my mother and my grandmother and i feel terrible for them. i didnt say much to my mom but her voice sounded shaky and careful and worried. she said pop was accepting of this although he seemed shocked. he says he knows something will kill him eventually. i was sad listening to her talk about her father. her father. this man was once young and excited and went to parties and fought with his parents and went to school and got in trouble and watched his children be born and was happy and he was their father when they were babies and teenagers and adults and he made home movies and watched television and read books and had opinions about politics and was driven. i know him only as the bitter old man i see on a semi regular basis. but this is her father. and she's the mother i love. and i feel terrible for her

morning time. its raining. and im listening to fugazi and thinking about how much i hate preachy rocknroll. im gonna make a copy of post and homogenic for valerie coz she's mourning and its the least i can do. and today i plan on picking up my PIXIES tickets from my mother considering i will be seeing the pixies in 3 days. i havent been thinking about it much but when i do..when i picture them walking on stage and playing their first song i become overwhlemed with excitement and im gonna see them see them seethem see them. but i try to forget about it. becuz its more fun that way. and i hate too much pizza last nite. now my stomach is burning. my esophagus specifically is smoking and smoldering. right up to the top. and today. i plan. to. do nothing besides what i just mentioned. i had so much sleep. i woke up at 12:30 pm. took a three hour nap at 6. and went to sleep at 1. herschel slept right next to me his kitty body sprawled out in perfect unison with mine. oh i forgot. i must buy blank cassette tapes and blank cds today. i will go to staples in the rain and buy them and come home and work on "robots". and listen to the beatles, poppy nirvana, the vaselines, and the pixies in an attempt to write total sell out techno pop. becuz this song has HARMONIES and POP SENSIBILITIES and i know not what either of them are. or how to utilize them. so i will listen to kurt cobain eugene and francis and black francis and and and and and learn how to make pop music that is pop music. fun fun fun.. formula formula formula

grist mill tonite.

i went there

how do u think it was?

madeline was there. i hadnt seen her in ages and it was more than awesome to see her. she's still the prettiest girl in the whole world

and pippy and jon eskow were there

and i brought steve there and met up with aimee. aimee thinks i dont like her but its quite the opposite. i think she's swell. a funny little adoreable

and karline and erica(?) were there. thats enough about them.

and now im sitting here typing in a livejournal about nothing coz i haev nothing to say becuz i do nothing. i took out the garbage and now my house smells ok. and tommorow night i wanna haev steve come over and shovel the mess outta my apartment and then hae a party becuz im bored. and the party will be boring. and next week i forgot is the pixies!! and i'll be there watching the pixies and that will rock rock rock rock rock rock rock. and i cant wait for that. and now im gonna listen to a cd i haent yet decided to listen to and feel better than you. peace

i will go to my mothers to shower and change my clothes becuz i dropped off my laundry there a week ago and never went back to pick it up. so i've been wearing strange smelling clothes i've found littered throughout my apartment. i've really reached new depths of filth. herschel has filled my house with an unbearable odor. and im lazy. i think im gonna buckle down and get shovel and clean this place tonite. just work. and clean. coz it smells bad and makes me smell bad and smelling bad is fun but not everyday. im gonna put sheets on my bed and pillow cases. and im gonna go throughout my house this morning and get every peice of laundry i can find becuz theres so much and its all dirty and needs to be clean. so my list:

1. move couch. move end tables. move stacked kitchen chairs. get shovel. pick up dozens of soda cans and whatever other trash is there.
2. clean table. clean under table.
3. pick up floor in kitchen.
4. put all soda boxes and pizza boxes in garbage bag. or garbage bagsss.
5. get rid of all the plastic bags under sink
6. do dishes
7. move bed.
8. throw away old newsweek magizines and time magizines.
9. put all books on book shelves.
10.throw away old desk.
11. put sheets on bed.
12. hang up clothes
13. vaccum
14. mop
15. clean counters
16. clean out refridgerator
17. clean all the garbage outta bathroom.
18. mop bathroom
19. hang herschel
20. sleep happy


i wont do this. any of this

last nite i sang a song with frank and moe and the harmonies were swirling. i smiled the whole time when i was playing. i couldnt keep a straight face.

also

last nite

david needs to practice his negroness
and frank needs to practice


and i decided to write a death metal album this weekend. only a death metal album by seahorse standards. unfortunantly i only finished two 1 minute songs but i think they rock. one is catchy..really catchy. and the other is really fast

if don vliet was raised on american underground andjapanese acID don is dale. yes he is


IS


IS
IS
IS
IS

well i didnt go out and play all week and thats ok becuz there is no one to play with and/or play where? no where. i went to the doctors on thursday and was told my shuolder is fucked. the nerves that were fucked up in the accident have healed in a way that limits the use of my muscles making them weak and unable to move correctly. its permanent. they will not get better. if anything they will get worse. u see the nerves grew back in a weird way so the ones that control the muscles dont fully work. so this is now a part of my life. athritis at 30. dead at 40. well not really.

i went grist milling last nite in the cold snowy rain and kissed jon eskow coz im that fucking cool. and hung out with valerie and muffin although their was no formal introductions. he reminds me of roadrash. not good. i watch pete lister and some kid play some funky ass jazz. i loved it. it was like sun ra. chanted and shit. jon recited funderful things which was by all accounts amazing. that fucker brought that entire coffee house to a complete hush. only i said anything. then i watched jam with those idiots at the end that think they are good musicians coz they can play alot of notes. i was fucking with jon and he was fucking with me. total fun.

i showed frank steve and jon "requiem for hulk hogan". steve liked it. frank liked it. but i dont think jon did. but thats ok. i love him anyway.

now im gonna sit here and debate cleaning and eat rice waiting patiently for frank to come over to mix some seahorse dale tracks.

my shoulder hurts.

well in the wake of this election i've been crawling back to my old sources for progressive news and shedding my bush vs kerry demeanor of the past few months. i've been all about corporate crime, some chomsky things, articles about voter fraud and all kinds of other stuff. some are saying the only places to where the exit polls didnt match the final vote count was in states where hackable electronic voting machines were used. i thought this was a little interesting and prolly something that someone should investigate. wouldnt that be a tooter if it was found that the GOP stole the election? and they all went to git-mo to stand on shoeboxes with electrical current flowing through their balls? maybe im angry and need some sort of comfort that this country wouldnt elect him again. oh boy

i went and saw the unicorns. got really wet. hurt my shoulder waltzing with steve. was thoroughly entertained by the unicorns. then on friday i went to the grist mill to hear jon sing and everyone was talking through his song and it made me angry. actually that whole place made me angry. minus a few people my general feeling was one of complete disgust.

so then i sat in my house all weekend and smoked cigarettes and held my stomach and watched the filth and the fury and downloaded 4 daniel johnston albums one of them being an amazing album and the others being not so amazing crap. and i ate pizza with sausage and peppers and herschel ate the plain pizza coz thats what he does and i was mad at him and he knocked over the garbage and thoroughly accomplished his mission of polluting this house with soda cans soda boxes and pizza boxes and forks and spoons and cat food and cat litter and now my house is not cleanable and not walkable and i love him anyway.

i wrote an 8 minute song with one G chord and silly moog synths and one drum kit and lots of little percussion beatings and its called "requiem for hulk hogan" and i love it coz it sounds like kraftwerk and the boredoms but thats expected isnt it? i dont think its done becuz i havent fucked with it nearly enough yet but the structure is pretty much complete. all it needs is some lasers and chanting and cat calls and it will be a masterpiece.

now to rub my gut...